The St. Paul’s community recently suffered a tremendous loss without any explanation or reason. The delectable delicacy also known as the cold brew machine vanished at the beginning of this school year. I write this obituary to find the answers we deserve. Now, friends, this article might be a hard read for some of you.
In the mornings, cold brew was part of the breakfast routine for many: grab a cup with ice, head over to the machine, think whether or not it was finally time to switch to the nitro cold brew—definitely not—fill your cup and enjoy. Nothing else mattered because you had that ice-cold, scrumptious coffee. That day was going to be great.
But now, with the machine gone, the stressful, tired mornings are back, and rumors have been spreading quickly. One student claims that the machine was seen in the Rectory during an open house. Others claim to have seen the machine in the boys locker room or the Kehaya basement (right next to the hot tub).
However, we, as St. Paul’s students, know rumors can't be trusted. I bring you the most reliable source this campus offers: SPS Dining’s Production Manager, Alan Judkins, with a raw, authentic, uncensored interview.
“The cold brew machine was initially removed from service due to the escalating cost of the product" Judkins explains, "When the prices became more reasonable, we put the machine back in service, only to find it was broken.”
Valid.
The answer to the question of whether or not the machine was utilized may come as a shock to many. Most students believe that cold brew is the most-consumed type of coffee.
“Regular coffee is consumed more than the cold brew, by a large margin,” says Judkins. However, he still believes the machine deserves a place in our dining hall.
In the words of Mr. Judkins: “cold brew will be served once again.” Though the new machine was ordered, due to supply chain issues, it may not arrive until September.
Despite the initial confusion, our campus has now found peace. I hope you all can finally sleep again.
Thank you, Mr. Judkins.